Vokalis

Gue selalu berpikiran kalo yg namanya tipe vokal itu macem2,dan dengan sok kreatifnya gue coba untuk mengkategorikan vokal2 tersebut,eh tunggu dulu,ini kita ngomong soal vokal cowok ya,kalo vokal cewek,ntar deh ya,some other time (by the btw,gue lagi suka banget sama vokalis cewek dari Paramore,she's smokin' hot !!!). So, gue came up dengan kategori sebagai berikut...

1.Macho
2.Sexy
3.Renyah (crunchy)
4.Sad ato Haunting
5.Unique

Fuck...udah kayak Pancasila aja ada 5...

So kita bahas satu persatu...Eh kagak deh,ada enam ternyata,satu lagi
6.Badung (naughty,eh tapi kok kalo naughty soundnya sexual oriented ya,ah bodo lah,fuck the terms...)

1.Macho
Tipe vokal yg kayak gini nih ada di vokalis kayak Eddie Vedder sama Jim Morrison,penyanyi2 dengan vokal bariton dominan,ciri khasnya tuh kalo lagi growling,uuugghhhh !!!! Man,mereka jarang nyanyi sambil scream,tapi once they scream,lo juga jadi pengen teriak,scream yer fuckin lungs out !!! kayak pas Jim Morrison teriak "Fireeee !!!!" di Light My Fire ato pas Eddie Vedder at he's peak di lagu "Not For You",Damn !!! these motherfuckers sure can scream,terus feeling lo pas dengerin juga jadi lifted,soar,kayak lo terbang,no no,bukan gitu deh,it's more like you wanna smash something,kayak semua rage lo tuh keluar...once,gue pernah fokus dengerin mixtape Pearl Jam buatan gue sendiri,isinya lagu2 PJ yg kenceng,asli jo,gue kelar dengerin keringetan saking tensenya...Oh satu lagi...Phil Anselmo,which probably the one single redneck I considered cool...

2.Sexy
Kalo vokal yg kayak gini,somehow kenapa,gue cuma nemuinnya di vokalis2 African,black dudes,vokal mereka vokal yg ngajak perempuan bobo banget,mungkin itu sebabnya kali ya kenapa Mick Jagger pernah bilang kalo black music ngebuat rock 'n roll kedengeran lebih sexy...Example,Lenny Kravitz...I mean,I don't blame those supermodels for falling head over heels for him,ini orang emang the living personification of sex appeal itself,damn,this dude banged Lisa Bonet fer chrissake,or the recent,Adriana Lima,that smokin' hot Victoria's Secret model...cara nyanyi yg sedikit mendesah,belum lagi lirik2 yg kayaknya gak jauh2 dari urusan bobo2an,kelepak kelepek lah perempuan....satu lagi,Maxwell...my ex girlfriend describes it the best,dia bilang,kalo Maxwell nyanyi,seolah-olah cuma ada dia sama Maxwell di ruangan itu,jadi kayak special ditujuin buat dia,makes a girl feel special...

3.Renyah
Sorry guys,I can't think of anybody else beside Bono for this category,vokalnya tuh kalo di kuping gue kayak ngebuat lo berasa makan ice cream sandwich,I mean,pernah nggak lo dengerin vokal yg ngebuat elo laper ato pengen ngemil ? Nah,buat gue,vokalnya Bono inilah yg kayak gitu...sulit juga ya untuk gue ngegambarinnya,tapi gue gak pernah kalo lagi denger Bono terus gak kebayang cemilan,ato emang gue aja yg gendut ? Hahaha...Gue sih mungkin mikirnya,dulu kan lirik2nya U2 banyak yg berbau revolusi,mungkin Bono secara implisit lewat vokalnya yg bikin laper itu pengen kasih tau ke pendengar U2,kalo revolusi boleh2 aja,tapi jangan pernah revolusi dengan perut kosong....tapi kalo soal revolusi,juaranya Bob Marley deh,damn,dia nyanyi lagu tentang revolusi tapi dengan nada yg santai....nothing tops that man....eh nggak deng,ada satu lagi yg renyah...Seal...nggak sampe bikin laper sih,tapi cukuplah buat bikin Heidi Klum mau jadi bininya...

4.Sad ato Haunting
Pernah denger lagunya Nine Inch Nails yg judulnya "Hurt" dinyanyiin sama Johnny Cash ? Dude,gue pertama denger lagu itu,it gave me a fuckin' goosebumps,and still is,until this very day...Johnny Cash is like the ultimate American outlaw,he's up there with Jesse James,anjrit ini orang,presencenya bikin orang jiper,terus vokalnya tuh yg kayak creeps the bejesus outta you...Other example, Layne Staley ,gue asli nangis (okay,I was on LSD,but still...) pas pertama denger lirik River Of Deceit "My pain is self chosen...",gila ini orang,dia ngutip "The Prophet"nya Kahlil Gibran terus dia bikin seolah-olah itu keluar langsung dari perasaannya sendiri,kinda makes you feel suicidal,eh ? and what's more interesting,gue pernah liat livenya,pas di bagian terakhir lagu itu,dia bener2 nangis...a disturbed genius...I know how you feel man,rest in peace Mr.Staley....satu lagi,Kurt Cobain...well,perhaps you guys might think,for this guy,harusnya gue bikin satu kategori lagi,which would be called Angry,tapi buat gue,yg namanya anger kan sebenenya cuma versi agresifnya sadness,so,the angriest motherfucker in 90s is actually a very2 sad guy....I mean,you have to be a very sad person to write a song called "Rape Me"....balik lagi ke haunting,gue bakal ditimpukin goths seluruh dunia kalo gue gak mention Robert Smith dari The Cure...kalo lo dengerin track mereka yg "Lovesong",gue rasa it's pretty safe untuk bilang kalo lagu itu cocok banget buat jadi the ultimate stalker song,liriknya sih innocent2 aja,tapi cara nyanyinya itu yg bikin orang jadi mikir,is this guy really in love,or he's just obsessed ?

5.Unique
Ini kategori paling tricky,soalnya,to be in this category,either you have to be a very good singer or a lousy singer tapi punya vokal yg khas...Example...yg lousy dulu ya...sebelumnya sori dimori dulu nih buat om2 penggemar Genesis....Phil Collins....hahaha,I know,I know,I might be wrong,but fer cryin' out loud,that guy play drums !!! He wasn't even supposed to sing !!! (perkecualian untuk The Eagles yee...sama Beach Boys deh...) But here's the good thing,lo nggak akan pernah nemuin vokal yg sama kayak Phil Collins,the minute he sings,lo langsung tau,ini Phil Collins,and by saying he's a lousy singer bukan berarti gue gak suka sama dia...dude,duh ? Siapa yg gak suka Phil Collins ? Most of us grow up listening to his songs...Now the good singer...Peter Gabriel...that's a damn fine singer....Dengerin "Biko" ato "Sledgehammer" deh,and you get my point....Yg unik lagi,Maynard from TOOL,gue mungkin subjektif di sini secara gue TOOL Army gitu loh,tapi man,can't you fuckin' believe this guy vocal's range ? Dari teriak 16 bar di album Lateralus sampe ke low register bass voice di project Puscifer nya ? No one comes close,yg mirip ada,Pete Loefflernya Chevelle mirip,tapi soulnya gak punya....Oh,satu lagi,an average singer tapi vokalnya khas...David Bowie...ah,no words lah to describe Bowie,and I dare you all not to try to describe the Ziggy Stardust himself....

6.Badung
Raja vokal badung ,Mick Jagger...Wakil raja...Robert Plant...Benteng...Axl Rose....But here's the thing,badungnya Jagger tuh mencakup both aspek badung in sexual way and badung in terms of badung pemberontak,rebel if I may say...Sexual ? Dengerin "Satisfaction". Rebel ? "Sympathy For The Devil". Plant on the other hand,is very very sexual,c'mon ladies...admit it ? He did looked hot with his bellbottom pants,long hair and sideburns,and I gotta tell you,not much people can successfully pull long hair and sideburns at the same time...whereas Axl,this guy is pure rebel,with his stage antics,schizophrenic behavior,and above all,his ear piercing vocals...Damn !!! Don't you just wanna scream ?!? I mean,Guns 'N Roses didn't just get the "World's Most Dangerous Band" title fer nuthin'...oh yeah,satu lagi nih yg badung beyond comparison...Roger Daltrey dari The Who...

Ada satu lagi sebenernya...Annoying...sori dimori Dream Theater fans...example gue James LaBrie...dude,I mean Portnoy ada di my top 5 list favorite drummer ,up there with Stewart Copeland,Neil Peart,Danny Carey,John Bonham,but please Mike,lose that vocalist,I can't stand his vocals...replace him with someone with a little more soul....kalo diganti kayaknya gue bakal start dengerin DT deh...

sorry buat vokalis yg gak kesebut kayak Serj Tankian,Roland Orzabal,Dave Gahan,Cedric Bixler Zavala,Brandon Boyd,Tony Hadley,Marvin Gaye,Chris Cornell,Brian Wilson,John Lennon,Otis Redding,Michael Hutchence,Jeff Buckley,Alice Cooper,Bruce Springsteen,David Coverdale,etc....Believe me,you're all matters as much as those guys above....Cuma kan gue pegel kalo harus bahas semuanya...